High Hopes
by David Starks
Summary: Commander Lydia Shepherd's romance with Garrus Vakarian was never going to be easy and with the Reapers, Collectors and the end of the galaxy looming, their work was cut out for them. Will hopefully cover all three games, has been rated 'T' as I don't understand the American rating systems and will not have transcripts of conversations. Garrus/FemShep romance.
1. Chapter 1

High Hopes – Chapter 1:

"_I hope I'll see you again..."_

This story will not cover every single event in the Mass Effect series and will _not!_ (Dramatic Italics for the win!) have transcripts of conversations, although there may be some similarities.

I hope you enjoy this and please leave your opinions as I wish to improve my skills.

Hopefully a good start to a long story.

* * *

Garrus Vakarian was tired, he was tired of waking up at the same time every morning, of going to work at C-Sec, tired of filling out paperwork, tired of the red tape. He was tired of doing the exact same thing every day, as he had done for years.

He felt like his entire life revolved around the same dreary chain of events that he was doomed to repeat over and over again. So he would do almost anything in an attempt to break the rut. He would try the latest nightclubs on the Wards, spend hours at the shooting range and repairing any kind of device could get his talons on. He found the Clubs immature filled with, to put it kindly, women with some loose morals, the type he hated. He already knew his guns and had collected the prize of being the best shooter in C-Sec _long_ ago. On top of that he could already take apart and put back together most types of Omni-Tools blindfolded.

His life was too comfortable, too stable. No new faces, no new places to explore, his life had been the same for years. Stale, it was the only way Garrus could describe his life at C-Sec, well his life in general at the Citadel. He thought that by leaving Plivan he would be able to explore the stars, have adventures and meet new people, but there he was in a boring dead-end job.

So Garrus searched for release at work, by taking the hardest cases possible; just for the thrill of a challenge, although such excitement was rare due to interesting cases being few and far between. He spent most of his time at C-Sec filling out forms, mostly the 11-BLT form: criminal action(s) committed. Garrus could not fathom why such a form was needed or why he had to fill out so many of the blasted things daily, and so it held a special place of hatred in his heart.

The cases he so coveted often found their way around the C-Sec offices being passed from one officer to an other, if they deemed the case too difficult they would pass it on, but after a time the cases would inevitability find their ways to Garrus's desk. He believed that the other officers wanted a easy time instead of going after the real criminals, they would rather do paperwork and go home at the end of the week with their pay check. Garrus envied how comfortable they were doing such easy work.

One day such a case deposited itself on the desk opposite his own with the new owner of the file reluctant to even open it. The owner was a blond human officer and well known around the office as a layabout.

"What you got there?" asked Garrus desperate to distract himself from the piles of forms.

The blond haired officer smiled, those were the words he was hoping someone would ask, "You know what Vakarian? Its yours now, good luck." he dumped the file unceremoniously on the desk and walked away smiling. The mans actions peaked the Turian's interests, he could see from his seat that it was simply tiled 'Eden Prime Incident Report'.

Garrus snatched it up as if it could disappear at a moments notice. Ignoring the paperwork on his desk he read the file once and a second time, then again. He did this until he was almost sure it was committed to his memory it was only then he flared his mandibles into a wide smile. Find evidence against a Specter? Find evidence against Saren Arterius the top ranking Specter? Garrus always enjoyed a challenge and this one was going to be a toughie.

In fact it was going to be nigh on impossible the only evidence he had was, a collection of Geth bodies, some fuzzy footage and an unreliable eyewitnesses in the form of a sleepy dockworker. The only reliable witness was a Commander Shepherd who was in a coma and may or may not have even seen anything in the first place.

It was **perfect**.

The last anyone saw of Garrus for the next few days was of him accepting the assignment with a grin on his face.

* * *

Commander Lydia Shepherd rubbed the back of her neck trying to work the tightness from it, where she had fallen after being thrown around by the beacon on Eden Prime.

Dr. Chakwas smiled at her "How do you feel?"

"Stiff and have a migraine but other then that, fine." Shepherd croaked, her throat dry and painful. The Dr. handed the Commander a bottle of water that she accepted thankfully taking deep mouthfuls.

"Dry throats happen when you yell at people." Chakwas observed making the commander look guilty, she had moments before yelled at Kaidan.

To alleviate her guilt the Commander studied her reflection in a mirror provided by the Doctor, examining the placement of a new diagonal scar on the left cheek caused by a Geth bullet, it was long, jagged and red but would be hard to notice within a few weeks. She moved her brown hair that came down to the top of her jaw bone out of her eyes, tucking them behind her ear. This allowed her to stare into her own eyes that she could have sworn had gone a brighter shade of green, but the Doctor insisted that Lydia was just imagining it.

"I mean how do you feel about Kaidan." Chakwas rephrased the question.

"He risked all of us and the whole reason we were on the planet in the first place." Lydia sighed trying to keep her anger from bubbling over by continuing to down the drink, feeling slightly guilty for yelling at him.

"You know exactly what I mean Shepherd." Unfortunately she did, rumor was that Kaidan liked Shepherd and was looking for the right moment to ask her out, a moment that Lydia did all she could to avoid. Challenging to do as Kaidan was by her bedside the entire time she was out and there when she woke up.

The Commander blushed and fidgeted nervously. "I like him as a friend but as a..." she trailed off somehow talking about Kaidan like that seemed wrong. "Not like that." Shaking her head.

It struck the Doctor as strange that for someone so comfortable in a fight or heated argument, that talking about relationships made her so awkward and nervous.

"Think of anyone like that?" Chakwas asked knowing from previous experience that whenever she managed to coerce the commander into talking about relationships, there was a short window of opportunity to ask questions before Lydia would change subject.

The Commander laughed "No, no-one at the moment." she smiled "It's hard to get close to anyone when you're in the army."

"You would be surprised..." Chakwas said mysteriously, receiving a frown from the Commander. Before Lydia could say anything the Doctor pushed on. "You have have to apologize to him, and tell him that you don't feel anything."

"Yea...Yeah" The brunette was slightly off balance by how direct Chakwas was. "I have to but... I can't do it right now, not today. Because..."

"It would undermine your professional opinion?" Chakwas finished smiling.

Lydia replied by laughing and nodding. "Hey I've got a good question."

"And what would that be?"

"Who did you err...fraternize with?" a wide cheeky smile appeared on Lydia's face.

"I wouldn't tell you in a million years." She replied before promptly sending the Commander to get ready for arrival at the Citadel. Lydia was smiling as she left the med-bay, but that was quickly wiped from her face as Kaidan passed.

"Almost at the Citadel Ma'am." Kaidan said his face expressionless and voice toneless, without waiting for a reply he stomped off to examine his locker.

_Damn he is angry _thought the Commander, shaking her head Lydia went to collect her own armor and weapons together from her locker, as she approached Kaidan glared at Lydia and slammed his locker door before walking quickly away. _Had to be done _she tried to reason but found it wholly inadequate to sedate her guilt.

Ashley noticed the exchange between the two and decided much to Shepherd's relief not to get involved, only giving Shepherd a passing sympathetic smile but it seemed empty. Lydia made a mental note to ask her about Eden Prime when there was more time, she knew Ashley was taking the loss of her crew hard. Much like Shepherd had after losing her own squad on Akuze to the Thresher Maws.

As she changed the Commander's thoughts turned toward Saren's hearing and how crazy her dreams would sound to the Council ... and yet they seemed too important not to mention, one way or another. But she also tried to think of a way to tell Kaidan how she felt, or rather, didn't feel.

* * *

Garrus was ashamed, not for anything he did, but for what he could not do. He felt like he had failed, a feeling unfamiliar to him, the Turian had difficultly dealing with it and it managed to irritated him to no end.

His three day long investigation had turned up...nothing, nothing at all of any consequence, a few rumors but nothing that could be used in a case. The only thing he found out was that the Commander was being observed by a Specter for some reason, but even that evaded him.

Still he felt the need to organize his meager offerings that were as he expected, a collection of bleary images that were very unlikely to even be shown to the Council.

He had tried to persuade one of the Council attendants for extra time on the case, more for the reason that he didn't want to go quietly rather then the chance of new evidence, but of course his request was rejected.

So there he was: standing the Citadel tower waiting for someone, anyone to collect his pathetic attempt at investigating. He continually flicked through the evidence hoping for some kind of inspiration, but none came.

"Excuse me are you a C-Sec officer?" Garrus sighed loudly, frustrated, why did someone **have **to interrupt him at that moment? He turned quickly, mouth opened to deliver a carefully constructed barbed comment, before freezing at the sight of the woman.

"Err... Ye... Yeah I am." For some reason the short female human infront of him made him pause and stumble over his own words, she looked familiar, but he couldn't remember from where.

"Well... I am looking for a: Garrus Vakarian" If she noticed Garrus's look of surprise she ignored it, she double checked the name from a message on her Omni-Tool. He studied her trying to remember were he had seen her before, brown hair, emerald green eyes and a height where the top of her head came only slightly higher then his chin. She **was** familiar to him.

"You've found him." Quickly he shifted through were he could have seen her before, a C-Sec officer? Not likely, wouldn't have asked otherwise. A Civilian? Definitely not, she was wearing battle armor and had an assault rifle strapped to her back. A solder? Possible, but he had never really met any human women who were in the service. Wait could she be fro-

"My name is Commander Lydia Shepherd I've been told you have some evidence against Saren?" The Commander had a light and cheery voice with a smile playing on her lips. She answered Garrus's question without him even asking, she was the Commander that was in a coma, he had seen her picture many times in the file. The only thing that was different from the picture was the new angry looking cut on her left cheek.

"Bad timing?" Shepherd asked giving him a concerned look.

"No.. no not really..." he handed over the Datapad containing the evidence which she accepted. "Well I just..." He stopped himself there unsure about the human.

She simply raised a single eyebrow, her smile widened. "Out with it." She commanded.

Garrus sighed but did as she said "It's just that what I found is unlikely to be of any use Commander." That's all he meant to say but the rest slipped out. "I feel so useless..."

She gave a short laugh. "From what I can see you've collected everything possible and even organized it into what order we should use it." This surprised Garrus, she was being truthful and actually took notice of what he had done, instead of treating him as a tool, to be used then cast aside. "I appreciate it Garrus, thank you for your help."

His mandibles spread into a smile "Your welcome Commander." as he said this her hand extended out for a handshake which threw Garrus off balance, some people hated Turians because of the first contact war. With only the slightest hesitation he accepted her hand with his own three talons.

A slight lull in the conversation allowed him to examine the Commander's companions, one was a man with short black hair and dark accusing eyes, sightly taller then the Commander herself, he studied her as she flicked through the Datapad. The other was a woman with dark hair and a soft smile, she looked quietly confused at the expression on the man's face.

"They'll defend him to the end, unless you have very good evidence..." Garrus said turning his attention back to the Commander, unfortunately Garrus had the habit of being the voice of doom sometimes.

"Well with the evidence you have given us, Saren doesn't stand a chance!" She said hopefully.

"Yeah and after Saren has been arrested you can come and visit me in my mansion on Ilos!" He laughed regretting it instantly, did this human share his sense of humor? Or would she be offended by the joke?

A slight pause all but confirmed Garrus's fears, he started to look for a way out when the Commander laughed, a real laugh that made her eyes glisten and her face to light up. "Fine if I can bring my Geth army as well and we can all have a long holiday." It was Garrus's turn to pause, then they both laughed together.

He decided that he liked the sound of her laughter and the human that produced it.

"I hope the case goes well Commander" He smiled. "I hope I'll see you again someday." He sincerely hoped so.

"You too Garrus, good luck a C-Sec." Lydia agreed. Watching him leave she thought about how nice he was, a Turian with a good sense of humor and pride was rare, she also thought how his 'hand' felt good in her own. His tan colored plates suited him with only a few gaps in the plating around his eyes revealing his blue gray skin and black eyes.

She glanced back at Kaidan who had a strange expression on his face maybe... jealousy? For a moment she thought that she was imagining it but even Ashley seemed to have noticed the expression well.

"Well...Commander is that how you greet every alien?" asked Ashley with a smirk on her face, it was then Lydia realised that Ashley would deliberately cause trouble for fun, this made Shepherd warm to her.

"Let's move out." Lydia said quickly ignoring the question and marched towards the Council chambers, refusing to even look back at Kaidan, but Ashley's laughter told her all she needed to know.

Lydia tried to shake the Turian from her mind and failed.

"_I hope I'll see you again..." I hope so too Garrus._


	2. Chapter 2

High Hopes – Chapter 2: Cup of Tea

Because I'm English.

* * *

"_I hope I'll see you again..."_

It seemed ironic that when Garrus said this he thought he may never see the Commander again, but within a few short hours they were side by side shooting their way through the Wards. Somehow along the way they managed to ally themselves with a Krogan bounty hunter by the name of Wrex and a Quarian called Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. They even found the evidence against Saren and the Commander became a Spectre.

In short, within the space of a few days on board the Normandy he had more excitement then he had in his entire life at C-Sec.

There were always jobs that needed to be done on the ship but Garrus quickly became a self taught expert in repairing the Mako, Shepherd always managed to bring it back on verge of falling apart, riddled with bullets, dented and more then once dripping with lava, Garrus almost believed that the Commander _tried _to destroy it, just to give him something to do.

And so most of his time was spent fixing it, just in time for Shepherd to drive it off a cliff yet again. But still he enjoyed finding interesting ways of repairing and improving it using any parts that he could gather together.

After about a week it became his unofficial job, so he kind of ended up stuck with it.

The Commander would often come down to speak with the crew members, but a type of friendship had emerged between the two of them.

So he wasn't surprised to hear the familiar sound of bare skin on metal late at night.

"Commander you should be wearing shoes." Berated Garrus without looking up from the wheel he was repairing.

"One of these days I **will** sneak up on you." She replied calmly, picking up a wrench of some kind and tried to work out what it was for.

"Can't sleep?" He asked stepping away from the wheel, he needed a brake anyway. He glanced at the Commander her hair was rough and messy, bed hair the humans called it. She was wearing a black zipped hoody and gray jogging trousers, both were emblazoned with the N7 logo. But she lacked anything between her feet and metal flooring.

She shook her head slowly. This was a common event as when ever Shepherd couldn't sleep she would go and find Garrus, who was usually working far into the night.

"Nightmare." She stated

"Akuze?" he asked using a rag to clean oil from his hands.

"Yeah..." Shepherd sighed "I saw it again." A faraway haunted look fogged over her eyes as if she was there again.

Garrus was not completely sure what happened on Akuze only that Thresher Maws killed her entire squad. He once wondered about asking her about it, but it was as if there was a unsaid rule, not to ask what happened.

"Well I'm happy for the company." He said trying to drag her away from the memories. "Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

She shook her head slowly before chuckling suddenly looking up at Garrus with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Does Wrex ever sleep?" A simple and inane question but one that neither of them really knew the answer to.

Garrus laughed and glanced at Wrex who sat in the corner of the room on a reinforced chair. Garrus tried to remember the last time he saw the Krogan sleep, but only one memory came to mind where he thought Wrex was asleep, well until he was punched by the Krogan for taking a photo on his Omni-Tool.

"Still hurts Garrus?" Smirked Wrex thinking of the same moment, his voice rumbled through the room.

Garrus absently rubbed his jaw. "I'll get you back for that."

"Sure you will." Wrex smiled.

Shepherd laughed at the memory of watching the Turian nurse a cool pack to the side of his face, while threatening to open the air lock on Wrex.

"Thanks for your support Commander..." Garrus joked and she laughed even harder.

A comfortable silence formed between them all smiling until Wrex sighed and stood, "See you in a few." He stomped off towards the lift.

"Where's he going?" Asked the Commander.

"I don't know... he does it occasionally, I've been trying to work it out... maybe a toilet break?" Garrus answered receiving an raised eyebrow from her. "May the Spirits guard whoever has to use it after him..."

This sent Shepherd into hysterics, doubled over with tears running down her face. At first Garrus thought he had hurt or insulted her but realised the tears were because of her laughing so much.

Slowly she began to come down from the laughing fit, chuckling as she did so. It was only as she struggled to regain her breath Garrus though about how he liked the sound of her laughter and how her face lit up when she did. Lydia placed the wrench back into the box of materials.

"Feel better?" asked Garrus.

"Yeah thanks." Lydia smiled "come on I need a drink." She grabbed the Turian's hand leading him away form the Mako. He didn't resist because all he could think was how good her hand felt in his own, and how she managed to make him feel like the ship was his home.

Standing in the lift Lydia didn't release his arm that she proceeded to hook around her own. The lift was silent as the Commander looked up at Garrus smiling she studied his face, the contours of his plating and the shade of the skin below.

All too soon the lift came to a stop and the door slid open revealing Wrex and Tali, before they had time to look Lydia quickly released his arm. Causing Garrus to wonder at her intentions.

"See you Wrex." Said Tali giving him a sarcastic wave.

"Yeah, yeah." he said as he walked into the lift, passing Lydia and Garrus as they walked out onto the hall. "Commander" he nodded to Lydia. "Punch bag." he grinned at Garrus.

"One day..." The Turian threatened with a grin. The lift thudded close and the two of them turned to Tali.

"Hope you don't need the toilet." Muttered Garrus making Tali lean her head to the side in confusion, while Shepherd tried to stifle her laughter by covering her mouth with her hand.

"Something you want to tell me?" Asked the Quarian.

"I'll tell you tomorrow." He smiled "What are you doing up so late?" He could see the mess hall clock that was set to earth military time, after quickly working it out he realised it was around 1:30am.

"Snacking." she sounded guilty.

"Really?" He was surprised "Do you _like _those energy bars?"

Tali shrugged "I've eaten worse while on the fleet, although not much worse..."

Lydia knew that Dextro-protein species like the Quarians and Turians couldn't eat the same food as Levo-protein based species, like Humans or the Asari, so Garrus and Tali had to make do with Dextro-protein energy bars.

"How about the next time we are on the Citadel we pick up some Turian food?" The Commander said, she felt guilty that all her human crew members could eat different meals every night, but that two of her closest friends couldn't. "We could even purify it for you Tali."

"You... don't have to do that Commander" Said Garrus surprised by her willingness to buy expensive food for the pair of them.

"Speak for yourself Garrus!" Replied Tali "That would be perfect Commander, thank you." She gave them a short goodbye and walked up the stairs, muttering something about talking to Joker.

They watched her walk away before Garrus tuned to Lydia "You seriously don't have to do that." He said offering her a way out.

She shook her head smiling and walked towards the kitchen. The Turian paused for a moment before realizing that she might have wanted him to follow and he made to catchup.

By the time he arrived Shepherd had already made a drink for Garrus and set it on the table while the kettle, as shepherd called it, was boiling loudly in the background. As he had learned within days of being on the ship the Commander had a soft spot for something she called 'Tea', and had a single cup a day before bed to: 'Calm my nerves'.

"Ready for bed then?" He commented eying up the bright purple liquid as he sat down at the breakfast table. She had listened to him in the past, it was a glass of one of his favorite wines.

"Talking to you helps calm me down," She smiled at him while leaning against the table "even when you say something stupid."

A pause as he took a sip of his drink "I just don't want to be a..." he stopped unable to think of the right words. "I don't want you to go to all that effort just for us." he rephrased.

"Don't be silly, I want you and Tali to be comfortable." She said without looking at him she retrieved milk from the fridge, a mug and tea bags from the shelves. Garrus couldn't help but to think that they had only known each other for a matter of weeks and yet they wanted to look out for each other.

"Maybe one of these days you might bring yourself let me help with the Mako." Lydia continued causing Garrus to snort into his drink and have a coughing fit.

"Y...Yo..you haven't ever said a word about that," he spluttered "Plus you don't know anything about it." While Garrus cleared his throat Lydia finished making the cup of tea and took seat opposite him.

"You don't think I could learn?" She asked taking small sips from the steaming hot liquid.

"Now I never said that..." Her tone made him suddenly defensive.

"You thought it." She sounded angry but her smile showed that she was joking.

"I didn't think you were interested." He said back causing her to shrug. "I'll have to think about it." He said stroking his chin pretending to think hard.

"Don't hurt yourself." Lydia muttered. _Real mature _She thought, thankfully Garrus ignored her comment.

He took the pause in the conversation to really think about it, and decided that despite her many good qualities she had difficulty fixing some of the most simple types of technology. But then again this would mean that she would need practice and more practice would mean more time spent with himself. _Spirits _he thought unsure why he wanted her to spend more time with him.

"Well I may have a few spare moments where I could show you how to hold a wrench..."

"Thank you!" Before Garrus had time to react she had gotten out of the seat and lent over the table, somehow managing to wrap her arms around him onto a hug.

"Well I... errrm...I..." The hug made him stumble over his words as he felt a... _something_ spread throughout his body, warm and comforting. Slowly Garrus hooked his arms over her back enjoying the feeling of her heartbeat and steady breathing.

They stayed in this uncomfortable position for a few minutes but it felt like mere seconds and when she let go Garrus he felt lost and cold.

"Something you want to say Vakarian?" Lydia smiled noticing the rapid twitching of his mandibles. Garrus thanked what ever gods he could think of that he couldn't blush, he dully noticed that neither of the drinks were knocked over and took as sip from his own.

"Go to bed Commander, that's an order. We can talk more about it tomorrow." Passing off her question.

She opened her mouth to protest but Garrus picked her up into a fireman's lift causing her to giggle, the sound rushing to his head faster then the drink. The Commander struggled halfheartedly as he strode quickly into her room and threw her onto the bed.

"If I see you come out of here I'll just throw you back in." He warned sending the Commander into hysterics, while she was laughing Garrus made to walk through the door. He stopped at the door wanting to say something but unable to think of what he wanted to express, so he settled for "Good night Commander."

'"Why don't you call me Lydia?" Shepherd's question made the Turian pause for a moment his mandibles locking close to his face.

"I...don't know." He said slightly unsure of how to proceed. "I didn't think we were...err..."

Lydia shifted position on her bed leaning her head on her arm, giving him a small reassuring smile, urging him to continue. With the smile he felt the rush of warmth again.

Garrus cleared his throat, starting again he said "Alright Lydia." her name sounded awkward in his mouth but it was a perfect fit of the true commander Shepherd, not the hero, but the woman laying on her bed while looking so small and fragile.

"Good." she beamed "Get some sleep Garrus, we're going to collect T'Soni tomorrow." Garrus agreed, they both need their sleep, as he walked out he turned back and flared his mandibles into a smile.

"That's a smile isn't it?" Lydia asked. Garrus laughed and nodded, he left and the door shut.

The lights within the Commanders room dimmed automatically as she climbed beneath the covers, thinking ahead to the mission. Lydia had decided that she wasn't going to get any sleep that night and even if she did the nightmares would come and rob her of any comfort. As sleep began to overcome her she thought of Garrus, his hug, his awkward smile, and his kind of sweet innocence, the memories comforting her and lulling her to sleep.

When she awoke the next morning she was surprised to have slept well and was ready for the next mission.

* * *

Garrus watched the door close before releasing a shuddering sigh, he shook his head and started to walked away puzzling over the Commander and the swarm of emotions rushing through his body. He didn't even notice he was back in engineering until he fell onto his bed. Garrus was so suddenly tired where he would have normally stayed awake for a few more hours, he found himself unable to even muster the strength to pull the blanket over his body.

He thought to himself about the number of things needed to be done on the Mako, an oil change, thruster needed refueling and dents that needed to be worked out. But however hard he tried to focus on the Mako his mind refused to do as he wanted, instead returning to Lydia. Her smile, her green eyes, her laughter, her-

_Spirits _He thought _What is happening? _No answer came. So he settled for allowing himself to enter the shifting vibrant colors of his dreams, although they were now colored by the same green shade of her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

High Hopes – Chapter 3

Chocolate raindrops

Has both chocolate, raindrops and an Star Wars reference.

Hurrah!

(Oh and its long compared to the other Chapters so far.)

Garrus growled in anger as he reviewed the mission information on his Omni-Tool through the report system. The report system had scanned everything they encountered on the mission to find Dr. T'Soni, rounds fired, enemies neutralized and whether or not the mission was a success to name a few. Any and all information gathered would go to the Spectre who would then make the official report to be sent to the Council, that was how the council stayed up to date with the Spectre's actions.

It even came with a self report section where individual members of the Spectre's team could rate how well they did on the missions, Garrus set his own score to a 2 out of 10, the lowest possible rating.

When Doctor Chakwas received it she told him to either rewrite the score or not to give one at all. So he was once again going over the mission information feeling thoroughly disappointed in himself.

The mission started off well on the volcanic planet of Therum, with 20 or so minutes of driving around in the Mako with Ashley and Lydia knocking the heads off of a few Geth. When they found Liara she was in some kind of field that they managed to get her out off easily and were quick to make their escape. Unfortunately that didn't happen, instead they had to fight a Krogan Battlemaster and his group of Geth.

Garrus thought it was going to be an easy battle but after weakening the Krogan he did a suicide charge at Garrus, although the suicide charge was just that the Battlemaster managed to shoot Garrus in the leg forcing Ashley, Shepherd and Liara to carry him out of the collapsing ruin. In Garrus's opinion this almost got all of them killed. He couldn't forgive himself for that regardless of Lydia or Ashley trying to persuade him otherwise, he decided that he would not go on any more missions, instead he would stay on the ship fixing the Mako.

He had spent the three days after the mission in the medbay desperate to get back to the Mako and make necessary repairs, but Chakwas insisted that he remained off of his leg and in the medbay for at least five days. With the required time coming to an end he found himself getting more and more aggravated. But he found comfort through long conversations with Liara about their families, the Normandy and interests. In fact they had managed to strike up a strong friendship despite the situation in which they met. She tried to allay his fears of being inadequate of being on Shepherd's crew, while he tried to persuade Liara that the Commander would like her, both failed but appreciated what the other was trying to do.

The conversations inevitably reminded him of similar times he shared with Lydia and their late night moments, but he hadn't seen her since the mission, no one had. Apparently the Commander had spent all her time trying to finish the report for the council, only leaving the confines of her room to collect meals. He realised that he missed her, her smile, the way her hair cascaded down her face, the way her emerald eyes glinted when she was faced with a problem, he missed it all. Garrus decided that the first thing he was going to do when Chakwas allowed him to leave was to take Lydia to the Mako and give her the lessons he promised, regardless of the paperwork she had to do.

Despite his plans Garrus was surprised to awaken on the fourth day with the green eyes he so admired studying him.

"Good your awake." Lydia smiled when she saw him stir.

"Shepherd." Garrus said shifting into a sitting position letting a out small groan as his muscles complained at him. "You should have woken me."

"I couldn't bring myself to wake you up." She said as Garrus rubbed the Turian version of sleep from his eyes, Lydia admired how she hadn't heard from any of the crew about Garrus complaining about his leg. Without knowing it he had won over the few crew members that ever doubted him.

"Need something Shepherd?" He asked like he was back in engineering.

"Just want to talk with you." She said with a short pause as if consolidating her thoughts. "What do you miss about Paliavan?"

The question surprised him and took a long time to sink in, even longer to come up with a answer. "The rain."

"The rain?" Lydia asked surprised.

"I know it sounds strange but it was the one thing that no one could sell on the Citadel, and the only thing I truly miss." He shrugged. "What do you miss about Earth?

A short laugh came from Lydia "I was born on Earth but left when I was three so I can't remember much." Still she considered his question. "I miss my Dad." The Commander stopped but continued at a small wave from Garrus. "My earliest memories are of him giving me a 'Rankor' chocolate bar and sharing a ice-cream at the sea front." She stared into the distance.

"What happened?" He asked unsure what an 'Ice-cream' was.

"He died during the first contact war, killed by a orbital bombardment." She said matter of factly, in such a tone that it caused Garrus to recoil, unsure of how to or even if she needed to be comforted. Turians believe that giving yourself to a better cause was something to be celebrated, so long as it was worth it. Something that could not be applied to the pointless 'contact war'.

Worried that his presence was making her feel worse. "I'm sorry..." said Garrus unsure of what to say. Despite the extensive number of Vids C-Sec officers had to watch about different species and their own ways of dealing with death, they were never told anything of any worth.

The Commander whipped her eyes, Garrus noticed that the skin around her eyes had begun to turn red and puffy. "It's OK you didn't do anything." Her usual strength of character was beginning to fade, replaced by the little girl who missed her Father. She continued "We had a funeral although there wasn't a body to bury, it was nice, a chance to say goodbye, you know?"

Garrus nodded silently, for a time they were both quiet before he spoke as if something willed him to. "My Mother was killed in the contact war."

Shepherd looked at him, his expression vacant as he continued "She was a... how do you say?... a medic in the Fleet on a medical ship, it was how she met my Father actually, she patched him up after he was shot a few years beforehand." Garrus paused to change position. "Anyway she tended to the wounded of the fleet on a medical ship, it was on the very edge of the conflict so that it could flee at the first sign of trouble, but when the humans did a surprise attack they ended up tearing a hole in the hull. She along with 17 of the wounded were spaced."

Garrus was shocked that he had told Shepherd about his Mother and was at a complete loss at to what to say next.

Garrus swallowed trying to get some moister back to his dry throat. "What I'm trying to say is that I know what you went through well I don't know exactly but I think you may be able to relate to my experi-" Lydia quickly closed the distance between them and hugged him, she had learned to recognise how Garrus would ramble when nervous.

"Thank you" She said appreciating what he was trying to do and surprised by the revelation of Garrus's Mother.

Although Garrus loathed to break the embrace he pushed her back and stared into her green eyes. "Lydia I'm here if you need to talk about anything." The use of her first name drove the point home.

"Likewise Garrus." Lydia smiled and attempted to rub some of the redness from her eyes. Garrus nodded and knew that she would try to change the topic of conversation, but he would go along with it, simply to escape his own memories and regrets.

"What do you think of our new... blue friend?" She lowered her voice to make sure no one would overhear. What the Commander failed to notice was that the door leading to Liara's room was open and she had no doubt heard Lydia. This surprised Garrus he didn't notice himself while talking about his family.

Garrus flared his mandibles into a smile "I like her, she's nice, she'll make a good edition to the crew."

This relaxed and sedated any of Lydia's worries, she trusted Garrus's judgment. "Good I will talk with her later."

The gleaming review from Garrus urged Liara to step from her room with a bright smile.

"Oh Commander, I didn't know you were here." She acted surprised while trying to hide her smile.

"Hey Liara." The Commander gave a reassuring smile trying to put her at ease. "How are you? You spent quite some time in that trap."

If Liara noticed the Commander's red eyes she ignored it. "I was dehydrated but other then that I'm fine." The Asari replied unsure of how to continue. "I've spent my time helping Chakwas with Garrus and his leg."

"Ah thank you for looking after him." Lydia relaxed trying to make Liara do the same. "I wouldn't know what to do without my pet Turian."

Garrus scoffed before shaking his head. "After the last mission you would be better off without me." He said falling back into self pity.

Shepherd opened her mouth to disagree but Liara was there first. "You managed to me out of there." The brunette gave a hum of agreement.

"If Shepherd or Ashley weren't there neither of use would have gotten out." He shrugged.

This time Lydia spoke first "But we were there..." The rest of her argument failed to materialise.

"And you'll never have to be alone!" Finished Liara receiving a grateful look from the Commander.

Garrus was surprised and found himself unable to argue with the two women attempting to reassure him, instead he settled for simply saying "I see you two are going to make a good team..."

Both Lydia and Liara smiled at each other. "I hope so." said Liara

"I **know **so." Replied the Commander.

Garrus momentarily retreated from the conversation between the two, content in watching them continue to chat for a few moments. The pain in his leg had intensified but Garrus was never one to complain, besides he knew within a few moments the computer was going to apply Medi-gel to the leg. The pain soon faded and he felt his eyes droop, Medi-gel always made him sleepy so he struggled to stay awake.

This continued for a few minuets until Liara said something to him.

"I...I'm sorry what did you say?" Garrus asked groggily he was suddenly worried as both were giving him a united smile, a glint of mischief in both.

"Is it true Garrus? Why didn't you tell me?" Lydia smiled enjoying his discomfort. Garrus looked confused until Liara blurted it out.

"It's your birthday tomorrow!" She received a mock slap to her leg from Shepherd.

"We could have bullied him!" She laughed.

"Oh, OK." Said Garrus wholly unimpressed, he received a frown from the Commander.

"So... what do you normally do for your birthday?" Liara pushed on ignoring his less then excited reply.

"Nothing." He shook his head and awaited their replies.

"Really nothing? Why?" Asked Liara as she tilted her head.

"We only really celebrated birthdays when my Mother was alive, after her death it sort of faded away." He shrugged, testing whether or not Liara had heard him earlier, it was also a way to tell her she had been rumbled for listening in. Her blue skin turned a slightly darker shade on her cheeks, Garrus was fairly sure the Humans called it blushing. It told him all he needed to know and made her feel guilty to boot.

"Why didn't you celebrate it on the Citadel?" Asked Lydia genuinely bemused at his lack of interest, she didn't notice Liara's blush.

Garrus straighten his back amused at their confusion. "Although some friends offered parties, I never wanted them so after a while they stopped asking." He turned to Shepherd. "I know you enough, no parties and please don't tell the rest of the crew."

"Why not?" Asked the brunette.

"Because I don't want a party and you would try to set one up if I gave you a chance." He pulled his mandibles closer to his face trying to glare.

"Fine, fine!" Shepherd waved his concerns away "I won't tell the crew." She stood and stretched, cracking her back, before strolling out of the medbay with a wide grin on her face.

Garrus sighed "She's going to do something isn't she?" He suddenly felt very tired again.

"Yes." Nodded Liara giving him a pat on the shoulder "Good luck." She smirked and returned into her room.

Garrus moved back into a laying position trying to return to the warm embrace of his dreams. But his mind refused to calm itself instead it repeated the talk with Lydia about her Father. Garrus remembered his own Father not as a Hero as Lydia did hers, but as the man that he argued with almost every single day about... well anything, any reason to argue Garrus would jump on it and use it as a another reason for a long argument, they could argue for days at a time. But after his Mother's funeral, they drifted apart not even talking.

Whenever Garrus thought about his Father he felt guilty and a dull throb of regret would beat in his chest, reminding Garrus of his promise to his Mother the day she left for the war, "When I get back I expect to see you two as the best of friends!" She announced while leaving, just after asking Garrus to promise. He promised but never tried, and when she died he couldn't bring himself to even think about it.

Somewhere amongst his swirling mind he found comfort by thinking about Lydia. The pain in his chest slowly faded and was replaced by the familiar yet completely unknown warmth that spread through his body, washing away his discomfort and it lulled him into sleep.

When Garrus awoke in the morning and he was pleasantly surprised to not have half the crew looking over his bed, that was the last thing he wanted especially with Kaidan with his glares and cold nature. Garrus had no problems with the human but he disliked Garrus for some reason. With his time up Garrus made his way to the lift eager return to his faithful Mako, he was so completely engrossed in organising the repairs needed he didn't even look up from the Omni-tool until he was infront of the Mako.

The Mako had been repaired and polished to a gleam, all dents had been knocked out and a new layer of paint had been applied making it look as good as new. What really surprised him was that Lydia stood infront of him, She was wearing a blue mechanics jumpsuit, her hair was pulled back beneath a baseball cap, both had streaks of oil and paint on them.

She smiled widely. "Ah good I was going to send someone to wake you up." She wiped her hands on a rag while talking. "So what do you think?"

"I...err... it looks great Shepherd." Just at a glance he guessed the work must have taken the Commander hours. "You should have left me to fix it." His mandibles twitched into a smile.

"I won't have you working on your birthday." Shepherd berated him as she glanced at her watch the gold glistening in the light, she raised a hand pointing at the Mako. "Ah almost time, get in."

Garrus tilted his head in confusion. "Why?."

"It's a mission Garrus." Lydia waved off any reply. "Just get in the Mako."

The Turian was in no position to argue with her so he complied, besides he was secretly intrigued in what the Commander had planed. It was the first time ever he had been in the cramped Mako with just himself and Lydia, Garrus found it interesting, one of the few times he could see her both nervous and excited as she sat on the edge of her seat. Garrus's attempts at conversation were met by "Wait for it." and a curt wave of her hand. Garrus was relived after a few minutes to hear the Mako clunk and felt the familiar falling sensation as the Mako plummeted towards the ground, then the loud boom as they landed safely.

As soon as they landed the Commander slipped into the drivers seat and forced Garrus to sit in the back, where he was unable to see out of a window. She smiled as she drove, the same smile always skipped across her face when the Mako ran over a Geth or headed towards a unknown anomaly on a unexplored planet.

"Shepherd where are we going?" For Garrus the novelty had began to fade and he found himself getting irritated at the lack of control or information at what the Commander had planned, he just wanted it over and done with.

She raised a hand silencing him for a few moments, he sat back and tried to enjoy the ride, but the Commander obviously hadn't repaired the Kinetic Dampeners as with in a few minutes Garrus managed to acquire a new collection of bruises to his back. Once the Commander was satisfied with the position of the Mako she turned from her seat and made her way to Garrus with something black in her hands.

"No! I am not going to wear that!" He shook his head and spoke with disgust in his voice.

"Come on! You'll ruin the surprise if you don't." Lydia offered the blindfold by waving it infront of his face.

"No." He refused and sat back folding his arms across his chest in a sign of defiance.

"Come on! For me?" She pouted, an expression he had never seen cross her face before, but it was oddly persuasive.

Garrus continued to halfheartedly argue for a few more minutes but eventually gave in and reluctantly accepted the blindfold, unable to resist the look on her face.

"Put it on." Shepherd commanded turning her attention to one of the storage boxes.

Garrus sighed and rapped it around his head but was still able to see the lights inside the Mako through the stretched fabric.

"And this." Shepherd said grasping the side of Garrus's head with one hand while forcing on a helmet with the other, not even giving him a chance to complain. Still he growled and pulled the helmet off when she released him, he yanked the blindfold off to glare at her.

Shepherd burst out laughing at the expression on his face. "Just put on the damned helmet, it'll be worth it." she promised.

Shaking his head Garrus felt his anger fade and decided to go along with it. He replaced the blindfold then placed the helmet on his head, the world was lost to him as the helmet blocked out any light and all sound. No...not all sound he could hear the Commander yelling although it sounded like a whisper and he could not make out the words, the small sound still comforted him.

_This must be what being blind and deaf feels like _He thought feeling exposed and vulnerable for a few minutes. When Garrus felt a slap across his helmet he almost laughed despite his anger, Garrus realised that he couldn't insult her with the helmet on, so he settled of a human sign of anger by extending his middle finger at where he thought the Commander was sitting.

–

Lydia watched Garrus adjust to the helmet, first by turning his head to make sure it fit, then by tilting his head listening for sound. She saw Garrus freeze, thrown by the lack of sound, Shepherd felt guilty for the helmet so shouted. " It's OK Garrus!" at her shout he visibly relaxed.

Shepherd made sure the Mako would be fine to be left for a while and made sure that Garrus couldn't see by slapping his helmet, she received a middle finger for her trouble.

Garrus felt the familiar crunch and loud thump through his legs as the Mako's door opened, the Commander grasped his hand and lead him through the door and onwards across the rocky terrain. The walk was far from elegant as Garrus kept falling over stones and slipping on the ground how ever well Lydia tried to lead him, but she refused to stop, only to pick him up then continue walking. When the Commander was happy that they were at their destination, they stopped and Garrus felt the series of clicks as his helmet came loose. He was thankful for the release and puled off the helmet and blindfold, he was instantly blinded by something flying into his eyes.

Garrus wiped his eyes ready to look for the offending flying object, but he froze with his eyes closed, the feeling was familiar but it still took him a few moments to remember what it was.

_Rain_ He opened his eyes and saw the torrential downpour, that was coming from the twisting wild clouds above with a huge range of colors gleaming between them, casting light down into the picturesque green valley below.

Garrus stood motionless simply looking out at the sight, enjoying the cool rain that poured over his face, they struck his armor like hundreds of small hammer blows. He stood like that for a few minutes not even noticing the Commander moving to his side

"Egis 7: the rain world." Stated Shepherd smiling but when she noticed the vacant look on Garrus's face she fell silent, content to watch him.

"It's nice." Came the reply his voice was clogged with emotion so he cleared his throat. Garrus had not told the Commander everything earlier, the real reason he liked the rain was that it reminded him of the last day he shared with his Mother.

It was a long held Vakarian clan tradition to throw a party for those going to war, as a way to communicate with the Spirits to ask them to defend and guide the family as a whole. Although not a religious family by nature it was one of the few traditions they insisted to do every time a war started, if it made the Spirits took notice then great, if not at least they had a reason to party.

As usual relatives from the far reaches of the Vakarian clan would come together, a chance to see how the rest of the family had fared since they last met and say their farewells to the one going to war. But such parties often turned to arguments and long grievances between the different parts of the family returning, ruining the party.

But credit to his Mother she managed to hold the entire clan together, a word here, a strategically placed drink there, under her guidance the party moved smoothly and without issue. Even Garrus and his Father got along, prompting his promise to his Mother. Although it rained throughout the day and the entire party was indoors, it was Garrus's only memory where his entire family got on for any length of time and it was a memory he treasured. With the sent of the rain hitting the ground he fancied that he could hear the soft laughter and gentle conversation.

Garrus turned to Lydia, her baseball cap was missing instead her hair was soaked and had turned a dark almost black color, and the blue jumpsuit had become speckled with the water giving it a dark blue hue. Despite her rain soaked appearance she looked so... _Beautiful. _Yes beautiful Garrus had found the word that had eluded him since getting on the Normandy, the only word that fit the real Shepherd as well as the war hero, he was elated to find the right way of describing her.

But Garrus couldn't find the words to express his gratitude so settled for striding the distance between them in three long steps and embracing her as hard has he dared, after a moment's hesitation her arms rapped around him. They held each other with their eyes closed, sharing the warmth radiating from their bodies and feeling the strange sensation of their warm breath rolling onto the others cold face.

They stood there for a few minutes simply enjoying the closeness of the hug and the rain pounding on their heads. The Commander extracted herself from the hug, held her hands together and placed them on the back of the Turian's neck, leaning back from him with her arms out straight. Garrus's talons instinctively slipped from her back to her hips and was mildly surprised she did not remove them, she didn't even react.

Shepherd studied Garrus's wet face, the way his head was slightly tilted, his intense eyes focused at her and his mandibles were frozen in place, told her that Garrus wanted to say something. But something else took her attention, the Turian's talons had found their way to her hips. The weight of his hands was a sensation that the Commander enjoyed, sending her mind into a swirling mass of emotions and memories, suddenly unsure about Garrus and her feelings towards him. Even with her mind in a state of confusion she did not remove Garrus's hands.

"Want to say something, Vakarian?"

_Yes _Garrus thought but when he went to speak the words seemed...inadequate compared to his gratitude and...the warmth he felt whenever he saw her, the warmth that encompassed his being whenever he held her close. Like right then. So Garrus racked his mind looking for a way of **showing **how he felt. His knowledge of how humans expressed emotions was limited to the Vids he watched in C-Sec and most of them relied on the use of things like, eyebrows or the color of their cheeks, things that Garrus obviously couldn't do. So he continued to go over the Vids until he settled on one sign of affection...

_Yes I could do that_ he thought it was a well used sign among humans, less so amongst Turians, but he could do it. Garrus took a few deep breaths, steeling himself and getting used to the idea he looked into her emerald eyes.

Garrus's talons moved from Lydia's hips to the small of her back and he hesitated for a second, then pulled her close, only in the last moment he wondered whether or not to continue but it was too late by then. His hard plated lips met hers, the warmth he had long felt rushed through him faster and stronger then before, it was almost a release for whatever he felt.

Lydia was still puzzling over Garrus's hands when they suddenly shifted to her back and pulled her towards him, probably for the hug to continue and Lydia wasn't going to complain, she enjoyed being close to him. But when Garrus's mouth came to hers, the plating on his lips feeling..._nice _against her own soft lips_. _She was shocked not just by the kiss but also the feeling of disappointment when his lips retreated back and his eyes studied her, looking for some kind of reaction.

Garrus both vastly enjoyed and regretted the kiss. **What **was he doing? Coming aboard a Human Spectre's spaceship, while trying to stop a increasingly powerful rouge Spectre and then proceeding to kiss his Commanding Officer within a few weeks of meeting her. Just perfect. And yet he felt like kissing her again...and again. Garrus had no idea what to say or do next so instead he waited for her to do something, anything that would explain how she felt. He distracted himself by studying her face, for the first time examining the contours of her lips and the almost semi-circle shape of the scar on the side of her face, he dully noticed the pink shade of her cheeks.

Shepherd blinked like an owl unable to think amongst the rushing of her thoughts, a mixture of emotions, her imagination and guilt. She felt like by accepting the kiss she had betrayed someone or something, but she couldn't make sense of her emotions. But the one thing that she was sure of was that she enjoyed the kiss and despite herself she wanted more from Garrus.

"I..." Nothing more then a whisper escaped Lydia's mouth, she cleared her throat feeling her cheeks flood with warmth and found herself unable to speak.

The Commander's inability to speak willed Garrus to act. "It's ok..." his voice sounded weak to himself but he might as well have been shouting. "I...I...I don't know what came over me..." He truly couldn't work out what he felt.

Lydia and Garrus released each other from the hug, both at a complete loss at what to do next, they stood in the rain nervously.

"We should get back..." Garrus muttered awkwardly after a few moments of silence, just wanting to be out of the rain.

"Yeah..." Lydia said in the same tone, she turned and placed her hand to her earpiece telling Joker the coordinates of the Mako so they could return to the Normandy, luckily she managed to keep a fairly normal quality to her voice. After a few moments she gave Garrus a nod and they plodded back to the Mako in silence, unable to strike up a conversation.

The Mako provided cover from the rain and the cold breeze that began to whistle over the landscape on their way to the Mako. Once inside they took seats opposite each other, completely unable to look at the other and dripped onto the metal floor, awaiting the Normandy's pick up. After a few minutes in the Mako Garrus noticed out of the corner of his eye that Lydia was shivering and was having difficulty unfolding a towel, due to her stiff unresponsive fingers. He simply couldn't let her struggle like that so Garrus retrieved his own towel unfolding it awkwardly, he moved from his own seat to the seat to her back. Garrus draped the towel over her shoulders from behind as some kind of apology.

Garrus was surprised to feel one of Lydia's hands grasp his own and give it a small reassuring squeeze, she tilted her head back and save him a small smile.

"Are we ok Shepherd?" The question left Garrus's mouth without his consent, the entire way back to the Mako he berated himself for the kiss, the last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship.

The Commander gave him a wordless nod, instantly slowing Garrus's fast beating heart to a somewhat normal pace. She released his hand to retrieve the other towel and gave it to him, he accepted it gratefully and used it to wipe his wet face. Despite the reassurance that their friendship was fine they didn't speak the entire time they waited for the Normandy. Instead both of them thought about their feelings for the other, trying to work out their almost inexplicable thoughts and what the other was thinking. Soon both of them felt the familiar sense of weightlessness as the Mako lifted itself from the earth, shortly followed by the sudden feeling of vertigo as the Mako came to rest in engineering.

Lydia couldn't make sense of her mind, but she was sure about one thing. It needed to be said. So when Shepherd lent against the door, about to open the lock she turned back to Garrus and the idea made her smile widely. The door thudded open as Garrus tilted his head bemused by her smile, she decided to go for it.

"Garrus, you're a good kisser."

Then without looking at his response she left, leaving him to his confusion.


End file.
